The Ghost of Boyfriends Past
by CallMeLy
Summary: [Musical!verse] Veronica's life is... uncertain. She's been through Hell and back, made friends, lost friends. Tragically. Coping is hard. Finding closure is harder. Not knowing what's real and what's not is the hardest of all. JDonica one-shot.


**Disclaimer** \- I don't own Heathers the Musical or any characters involved. Copyright to Laurence O'Keefe and Kevin Murphy.

It's been a long time since I've uploaded any fanfiction, I've been busy, but expect stuff for various different fandoms over the coming weeks, including Legally Blonde the Musical, Putnam County Spelling Bee, DHMIS and the Beauty and the Beast live action remake~!

Here's a little idea I've had floating around in my head since I watched Heathers the Musical a while ago. JDonica is a complicated ship, and I only really support it in AUs where no-one gets killed, but it had potential to be good, and I think they deserved some closure. So here's that

* * *

The Ghost of Boyfriends Past

You'd think she'd be used to seeing the dead by now.

Heather Chandler had been floating around for a while. She seemed to come and go as she pleased, just like she had in life. Kurt and Ram sometimes followed. They were never apart. And still never fully dressed. (Then again, Veronica reminded herself, that was entirely her own fault) By this point, they weren't much more than a minor, although constant, nuisance and they didn't seem to be actively trying to provoke her beyond just _being_ there. Ever-present reminders of all the dumb mistakes she had made over the past weeks.

… 'Dumb' might have been an understatement…

… 'Might' might have been an understatement too.

But that was beside the point. The point was that Heather, Kurt and Ram's ghosts weren't exactly problems anymore. They weren't doing any harm. Things had calmed down. She still hadn't been found out, she was friends with Martha again and school was becoming a little easier to navigate.

So why did _he_ have to show up?

Three days had passed since he took the bomb from her. Three days since he had been blown apart into oblivion. Yet she had continued to see him every one of those days. She tried to ignore him, pretend he wasn't there, like she did with the others, but it's surprisingly difficult to ignore someone who isn't even trying to get your attention. JD would just sit there, just barely visible out of the corner of her eye, looking down at a book – _Moby Dick_. Heh. Of course. Every now and then, Veronica might notice him looking up at her but the moment she turned to try and meet his gaze, he would go back to reading.

Those first three days, he never said a word. Just sat and read. Like he was keeping her company or something.

A silent observer, until the fourth day, when Veronica was working on a report and felt a presence over her shoulder. The lack of breathing or a shadow told her it wasn't someone living. And the lack of a condescending remark told her it wasn't Heather. And it couldn't have been Kurt or Ram, because they always appeared together. Which just left JD.

"… Page 37."

It took her a moment to register that he had just spoken to her. The last time she heard his voice, she was backing away from him, tears pricking her eyes as he quietly begged her to fix his mistakes.

And now he was… what was he doing…?

"That was on page 37," he nodded at the textbook she had open beside her, "You were reading it only yesterday, remember?"

Suddenly locking eyes with him, Veronica stammered, confused.

"What…" she paused and shook her head, not sure if he'd still be there when she looked up again, but he was, "What are you doing here?"

"Trying to help?"

"That's not-"

"Not what you meant, I know, but maybe I don't know the answer you're looking for."

Now, this was new. It wasn't too out of the ordinary for Veronica to hear a ghost talk to her, but she'd never had an actual _conversation_ with one before. Part of her wanted to know where this would go. She brushed off his last response.

"You're choosing _now_ to start talking to me?"

"No time like the present," JD said with a shrug, "You're choosing now to start listening to me?"

Veronica scoffed and turned back to her paper. Even in death, he was a pretentious ass. But then she heard him sigh.

"Veronica…" his voice was soft, almost hesitant, and Veronica went still, "I'm sorry. For… what I made you do. For what I almost did."

At first, she didn't know what to say. He sounded so oddly sincere. The JD she had known was always so over-the-top, and not so honest. But something about this situation made her want to believe him - made her feel she _could_ believe him. She took a breath.

"I'll accept that apology. But I don't think I can forgive you. It's… it's a lot to forgive."

She didn't look at him, but she heard him exhale.

"That's fair…"

He paused, and then:

"… I still love you."

"I know," she muttered, then, before she could stop herself, "I still love you, too."

Another pause. JD waited in silence for Veronica to continue. How did he know she was even going to continue…?

"But, hey, y'know, you're _dead_ , so…" she gave a humourless laugh, "Can't be too healthy to stay hung up on a dead guy, huh?"

She finally lifted her head and they shared the same sad look. Again, JD was quiet, expectant. Veronica swallowed her nerves.

"Actually, I think there was a lot of things about us that probably weren't healthy."

JD nodded, "That's true…"

And it looked like he believed it. Like he could only see it now, after he had died. But then a smile, albeit a slightly sad one, broke through and he looked like he had that day they met in the 7-Eleven.

"We started out alright, though, didn't we?"

She couldn't help but return the smile and nod. They had, arguably, started off their relationship on a far better note than they ended it. The playful flirting, the meaningful conversations… It could've worked. If only he had stopped her when he noticed her picking up the wrong mug. If only _she_ had stopped _him_ when he poured out the drain cleaner in the first place. If only they had known of a better way to work out their problems. Maybe they could have prevented all of this from ever happening. JD would be alive, and so would Heather Chandler, Kurt and Ram. And on that note, Veronica frowned. She stared at JD for a moment.

At his ghost.

"Are you even real?" she asked in a whisper, "Are you actually haunting me, or is this just a dream? Am I hallucinating? What is this?"

 _Were the others ever really ghosts, or do I just feel really guilty?_

After a few seconds, JD shrugged. Veronica couldn't read his expression.

"Who knows?" he watched Veronica's eyes drift downwards in thought, "Does it matter?"

He took a step closer. His feet made no sound on her floor. He still didn't cast a shadow, and she couldn't feel his breath even now that he was leaning towards her. Was that just a thing with ghosts? Or was there nobody there?

"I don't know…" Veronica mumbled to herself. Maybe it was to herself. Maybe it was to him. Maybe she had been talking to herself this whole time.

JD leaned in even closer and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, his chin resting on top of her head. Veronica knew she felt _something_ there. But she might have imagined it. Still, she closed her eyes and let herself believe it was real. She heard his voice in her ear. Or maybe it was in her head.

"At least you got a few things off your chest," she felt the faint presence draw back as he let her go, "End it on good terms. Get some closure, right?"

She didn't look at him. She just nodded and picked up the textbook, flicking to page 37 where, as promised, she found exactly what she needed.

JD had disappeared by the time she was done. Veronica didn't see him again. And, perhaps, that's for the best.


End file.
